~Life in a Building X or Y~

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

John 14:18

A large building with many windows and a grand playground in the back has for many years faced a small kindergarten across the street. Apart from their size, these two buildings had something far greater separating them. Behind the windows of the larger building wide eyes full of sadness, despair, and disappointment were peeking out. On the other side, spectators in the little building, out of their sheer curiosity, playfulness and laughter, would look outside just to check if the sun was setting down.

Although these two structures were sitting on the same street, they were two totally separate worlds. But both of those worlds held little kids, who played the same games, laughed at the same jokes, loved chocolate with the same spark in their eyes and made the same faces at “eat your green vegetables.” Most importantly there was a game, there was a joyous clamor. Didn’t you know that all the kids in this world are alike?

The structure with the view of kindergarten looks like a school. Only in this building kids are not taught math, history or geography, but to be their own parent. I think you already got the clue that the facility I'm talking about is an orphanage. This building holds kids who posses clothes, toys and rooms that are not their own. These things are not all that important, for what they miss to call their own is a parent and nothing more. And as you know orphans must share everything among themselves like brothers and sisters. So they share rooms, TVs, toys and food. Yet to share a care giver is the toughest one of all.
Children noticed there was some strange ritual - parents would come to the kindergarten, leave the little ones there and come again to take them back. But at the building across the street, “parents” would leave their kids and unfortunately forget they left them there. Although, these “parents” would not come back, orphans would have a great hope that mommy and daddy would remember to pick them up eventually. Well, their “parents” in comparison to other ones were just a little forgetful. Really, it was very confusing to remember in which building they left their kids - kindergarten or orphanage. Perhaps they are looking for their kids across the street right now and can't find them. So this is how “forgetful parents” lost their kids, only because they could not remember to look for them in the right building. Therefore, forgotten kids would look out the window at kindergarten, when the wall clock showed the little hand on four and the big hand on twelve, because that was the time when all the parents would come to find their kids.

So one lovely afternoon, while kids stood at the window waiting to see if someone was coming to get them, a blue eyed girl with tiny freckles on her nose and sunset color hair, exclaimed: "There's my mommy!" Then she sadly asked: "But why is my mommy holding that little girl? … Maybe she thinks it's me?" She looked outside for awhile, and then cried out: "Mommy, I'm here!"

But the little girl could not really know how her mom looked because she came to the orphanage when she was six months old. Still, she ran to her care giver jumping up and down, shouting: "I got a sister! I got a sister!”

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

James 1:27

A Sweet Tooth for Onions

“The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!" Numbers 11:4-6

I’ve never tasted the food of angels known as manna, though I wonder if angels eat onions. Often times when I’m upset or tired I find myself craving for good food and I feel like one of those Israelites who had undergone the exodus from Egypt. When hunger knocks at my belly I just don’t want to talk to people until I have that bite. Moreover there is only one thing that puts me at ease better than any other. Before I continue, I am sorry if I offended any of you who personally or professionally know me. Truth can’t be buried forever, even walls have ears (or nose). Thus dear reader, I have to make a confession: I am an addict. Admitting it is the first step, they say. I call my habit “appetitus bulbus”*, or some sort of addiction to crunching sweet onions. Not chips, but raw onions! How can I resist onions, when they have such a firm texture with layers of spicy nectar that opens up my appetite and can accompany almost any dish? Besides onions are low in pesticides, they are a good source of vitamin B and C, and are known for their health benefits (lowering bad cholesterol, preventing cancer and inflammatory reactions). Onion a day keeps the doctor away (and not just the doctor). I must admit I love garlic too, but I learned that my husband suffers from insomnia whenever I eat that. This is how I earned the nickname “Lukic”** whose author is none other but my own husband. A great deal of chewing gum, mouth wash and toothpaste could not erase this begotten name. Now I am stuck with it until death do us part. There is one thing that concerns me: when I get to heaven I hope they serve manna with onions.

“I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” John 3:12

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*My own pun derived from Latin words: bulbus -i m. [an onion], and appetitus -us m. [longing , appetite]
**Bosnian word “lukic” means “little onion”.

Storms Don't Last

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
       and he brought them out of their distress.

He stilled the storm to a whisper;

       the waves of the sea were hushed.

 They were glad when it grew calm,
       and he guided them to their desired haven.

 Psalm 107:28-30

Today storms moved through northern Illinois. Everyone knew about the storm coming up, because the National Weather service has issued a severe thunderstorm warning until 7 p.m. for all of the Chicago area.
At first the skies were dark, then wind came sweeping down, and at the end heavy rain lingered awhile. It lasted only for approximately 5-10 minutes, and moved on to other areas.
Storms come up suddenly and usually don't last long. 

Some neighborhoods are out of power due to severe storm, and our home belongs to one of them.
It is Friday so our fridge has little food left. I am glad we have only shrimps and chicken to throw away.

When evening comes, you say, 'It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,' and in the morning, 'Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.' You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. Matthew 16:2-3

<< nOt sO cOmPLicAteD >>

Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning." Exodus 20:20

I have friends with all kinds of problems. Mostly they are dealing with family or relationship issues. Sometimes I don't understand what is the purpose of inflicting pain on others and yourself, and why one continues to do so even after the lesson is learned. When my friends come to me with their stories I give them a peaceful look and a listening ear. But I wonder if they can see outside their consuming situation that's placing them into uncomfortable bondage. And bondage is exactly what they feel. Notice the hidden meaning of this word! Two words are synthesized into one: Bond + Age. It means that one develops a certain bond throughout a certain time, and in the outcome one creates strong attachment towards someone/thing in years that have gone by, and develops good or bad bondage in the years to come. If one is in a bad bondage he seeks solution. Fortunately, to every hurtful situation there is a solution. First I need to point out that the solution is not so complicated compared to the messed up situation. Actually, the solution is always simple and never complicated. So, what is the cure to our broken hearts? Why do we feel the way we do? How do we hold our sanity in place? Who do we call for help? How did we get into this mess? Why does no one understand me? 
Questions are piling up. 

The closest solution to a messy situation is an inner voice.  During our life quest this voice tells us not to go to a bizarre places and simply stay away from unusual friends. Different people call it different names, but this "little voice" I call the fear of God. I believe everybody has one, and even if one denounces God it's hard to denounce your own creation. My experience proved countless times that if I obey this voice I have peace. If for some reason I have no peace I become either agitated, anxious or restless. But when I listen to the fear of God, then I have peace. This peace and the fear of God go hand in hand. One without another cannot coexist. You cannot have a true peace without the fear of God. If peace is only achieved when intoxicated, then the fear of God is silent too. So next time you feel funky about making a new move, please don't panic and rush things up. Instead stay calm and listen to your inner voice. You just might hear more than your inner voice.

"All mankind will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done." Psalm 64:9

May I HaveThis Dance?

     

Then maidens will dance and be glad,

       young men and old as well.
       I will turn their mourning into gladness;
       I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. 

Jeremiah 31:13

 Dancing is like an inside-out of inward freedom. Sometimes I feel dancing is not from this world, because of its divine radiance and trance, complete absorption of self, and oneness in time and space. I love to watch people dance. 

Few days ago I met one charming couple who attend a local dancing class. I expressed my wish to see them in action, and right away they asked if I could look up a song Oye Como Va by Santana online. As I watched them dance I felt a feather-like tenderness was passing over my face. It was such a delight to watch them sway in an accord with the music and move as if they were one. I was amazed they were willing to dance just for me and share their exhausting moves (plus we just met). It was the best gift anyone gave me that day.

When in a public place most have an excuse not to dance -- usually men have an excuse or two. If men only knew that dancing is the most beautiful gift, they would certainly do it over buying flowers and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
 Remember how fun it was to spin around when you were a kid! Adults would clap and praise your little dance, because your wobbly moves were so adorable. Your dance was a gift to them.

Next time when someone asks you: "May I have this dance?"
Recall that dancing is...

•  expression of love and joy
• excellent exercise and stress relief
•  fun that keeps you young
• leap into transcendent
• work of art and a gift to the loved one/One

...and please say: "YES!"

****

      I will build you up again

       and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
       Again you will take up your tambourines
       and go out to dance with the joyful.

Jeremiah 31:4

~Memorial Day -- Pray for Bosnia~

Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:

I saw the tears of the oppressed—

and they have no comforter;

power was on the side of their oppressors—

and they have no comforter.

And I declared that the dead,

who had already died,

are happier than the living,

who are still alive.

But better than both

is he who has not yet been,
who has not seen the evil

that is done under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 4:1-3

~To Steer Clear of Potholes~

"Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before." Mark 2:21

“Watch for the potholes” my husband instructs me. Well, I seem pretty good at not missing any. Maybe I don’t follow instructions so well, because our little road trip is enhanced by the weather: temperature of 84F and 70% humidity in the air. Not having air-conditioning in the car means that we need constant movement on the road in order to benefit from the open windows. But there is road construction ahead of us and quite a few signs in our neighborhood warning us to expect delays. Wouldn’t you know this is the time of the year when road constructions take place in Chicagoland?

Every time I see a pothole I think of Mark 2:21. Road cracks and gaps have to be patched, but how can the new material work along with the old one? Every year road construction takes place around same time across many major roads, because old potholes plus new ones appear on the surface of roadways after winter has taken its toll on the pavement. Construction workers, interrupted by the flow of traffic, labor in the heat while wearing boots and heavy garments, for what they really deserve some credit. However, it is my conviction that patching potholes might be the quickest but not always the cheapest solution. The problem is merely covered up -- not solved. Patching potholes until they "shrink and rip away" once again leaves the road no different than its original state.
The only permanent solution is to entirely remove the old roads and start the new ones using a material that can sustain continuous change of weather and weight of vehicles.

My analogy here is to show that life for Christ is like a new road with a foundation that endures. Basically one needs to be "born again" without going down the old road. Completeness instead of patches, resolution instead of scraps! Take the example of Jesus. He was insulted, flogged, crowned with thorns, and spat upon, stripped of his clothes, nailed to a cross, and "refreshed" with vinegar. Those would be merely "patches" of Jesus life, if that was a "dead end" right there. What separates Jesus from any other god is His death and resurrection in newness of life. Jesus finished our road for us, so we don't have to die but have an everlasting life with Him. The amazing thing about everlasting life is that it will be with Him. Now, what Jesus wants from me is not "a patched up life" but a whole new creation, so at His table I can be clothed with righteousness and not some rags.

***

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

"And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it." Isaiah 35:8

John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, "I am the voice of one calling in the desert, 'Make straight the way for the Lord.' John 1:23

~Life in an Antique Booth~

“Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes.” 
James 5:2

Outdated magazine issues, yellowish heavy books, mismatched utensils, postcards from a stranger, handmade toys, kaleidoscopic buttons of all sizes, cups, mugs, empty coca-cola bottles, and whatnot are laid out in front me and it’s surprisingly pleasing to my eye: I am stranded in a wonderland called the Antique Shop.

At the slowest pace possible I stroll by each booth scanning all that fits into my perception. If anything catches my attention for more than a blink I pick up the lifeless object and contemplate its origin and price. I hold it long enough in my hands until wonder has faded into practical thinking. What can I use this relic for besides the purpose of collecting or decorating? One witty shopkeeper labeled a heavy iron with “would make a great door stop”.

Well, there are two questions I ask myself whenever I’m shopping:

First, could this be something that I would give to my friends as a gift? If the answer is yes, it’s worth buying. You would not want to buy anything worthless for your friends, would you?

Second, would I take this if it’s free? If the answer is no, I don’t consider buying it. Even if it’s free some items are just not worth having.

But here I am in the museum of a former shopper – the Antique store. While hunting for treasure I could not help myself but to notice how every booth would give away certain warmth. I realized that in front of me was the life of somebody who did not need these things anymore. There is this similar feeling that overwhelms me when I visit graveyards. Tomb stones are portraying tangible memories of a man’s life; the same appears with possessions. Suddenly a thought struck me: in the course of time my accumulated possessions will be handled by antique manager one day. What will its price be?

After an hour of searching to find something of a value and usage I came to the register with only hand lotion wondering about the expiration date. While starting small talk with a clerk I noticed that my voice was soft and calm as if I had experienced catharsis. I did not spend money on things, but my soul “purchased” tenderness and serenity along the way.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." 
Luke 12:32-34

~The Heart of A Man~

"Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,

but humility comes before honor."

Proverbs 18:12

Have you ever wondered why God intended for Jesus to be a male? I have a few interpretations of my own. I am not a feminist, nor do I hold a PhD in Women's Studies. More likely I could be described as a phenomenologist, for my intentions are to write about "lived experiences" as primordial forms of my complex consciousness. On the other hand, I am very emotional, and I have shed many tears throughout many years. Somehow we know that "boys don't cry", and if they do it's never a public matter. No man would like to be a weak link in the chain. But I am a girl and tears are my jewels. In accord with my feminine inclination I easily surrender humbly towards a higher power for protection, but what about man and his source of protection? One thing I've learned in the course of time: A gentleman does not work for baksheesh, but his wages are earned. He is the source of his own protection and his heart is of a lion. Like a lion he roars to make his way. He declares his possession of power and strength.

"The LORD is my strength and my song; 

he has become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise him, 

my father's God, and I will exalt him." Exodus 15:2

Sometimes I manifest traits of a tomboy, and the veil of stubbornness falls on me. As a consequence, my very soul is disconnected from His mercy. After veil of stubbornness, down falls anger on me. "I want to earn the grace of God on my terms," shouts the voice in me. The voice becomes louder and before you know it, I believe to have the power to change the world like a superman.

This is why I believe Jesus chose to be a male to carry out an example of true surrender to God.

To surrender my will to God is not an easy task, but if I don't then I'll become the prisoner of my daily wars.

So what is it going to be?

"Anyone who is among the living has hope —
even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!"
Ecclesiastes 9:4

"Key Generation"

“I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Revelation 1:18

Has anyone noticed that key mania is sweeping our jewelry counters, fashion magazines and TV commercials? This is not a key fetish criticism. In my jewelry box I have few of my own. So I took this picture of my little key collection as evidence. There must be something fascinating about keys. Often times, a key is a sign of trust, love, wisdom and commitment. For example, my neighbor entrusts her keys to me when she is away so I can feed her cat. With this key to her apartment I feel like she has given me a gold medal for trustworthiness, and for that I am exceedingly grateful. Sometimes lovers exchange their keys as a sign of commitment and love. Parents give their car keys to teenagers, and then pray to God that they don’t crash.

I must admit my “Key Generation” title sounds odd even to me, so I searched for this phrase online and found out from Wikipedia that “Key generation is the process of generating keys for cryptography. A key is used to encrypt and decrypt whatever data is being encrypted/decrypted.” This made me leave my title as it is. Aren't we struggling to understand how and why human beings are created? Philosophers are searching for the Key that unlocks the knowledge of Universe; poets lament of the lost key; scientists and religious leaders are trying to break the code of life for centuries. Nowadays we are more drawn to the key symbology than ever before.

But I really believe only God has a key, and He has already given us its copy – Holy Bible.

“I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Matthew 16:19

S.O.S. – Save Our Souls

“Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.” James 3:4

I have never been on a cruise, but I had a chance to be on a large ship powered by a mighty engine and steered by an out-of-view captain.

Hence this picture was taken to commemorate my journey.

What came to my spirit the other day was that I don’t feel so safe in the water as much as on the land.  Take for instance swimming and the funny feeling when you realize you are too far from the shore. Whenever I find myself swimming miles away from the land there is this fear that overwhelms me: fear of drowning and shark attack; fear of having not enough energy to swim back because of a strong current; fear of simply not having the solid ground to support my feet.

I experience the very same thing if I drift away from the presence of God.

Once upon a time in my spiritual journey I wanted to swim as far as I could just to exercise my own will and strength. Naturally it did not take a long, I was stranded in the midst of a storm and I was all alone.  Storms exhausted me and I became weak as days went by. Even though all around me was water I was thirsty for fresh water. I struggled to keep my head above turbulent waves… Only vast sky and shimmering like tear stars were looking down on me. Something was with me and I could not point my finger at. It suffered along with me, yet I could not see what it was. And there I cried out for His help...

It came to pass that Jesus arrived in the “boat” to save me out of deep waters. He certainly can swim and save me that way, but I was not the only one in the water throughout the history of mankind, so He needed a “boat”. Now I hold this truth, this unhidden treasure that Christ came down using a human body as a vessel to save all humanity.

“The LORD then said to Noah, "Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation.” Genesis 7:1

And thus began my journey....

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